Conversations in Studio: Talking About Mental Health With Bonnie James
As a Brisbane based portrait photographer operating a boutique studio, I am not looking to get hundreds of bookings in and out the door. I take limited bookings so that I can spend quality time with you and really create something special and tailored to your desires.
While you’re considering booking a Legacy Portrait Session with me, we might have some chats about the experience I offer, what style of images we can make and what archival products we can present them in to preserve your legacy beyond both of our years.
After making the decision and booking your session, we then meet for coffee to get to know each other a little bit as well as talk more about your shoot, the look, the feel, what you might wear etc. This coffee catch up also allows you to feel more relaxed as by the time your shoot day arrives, we’re practically friends and you don’t have to be nervous in front of the camera.
On the day, you will spend around an hour and a half in hair and makeup while we are also chatting away. I love this time so much and I really hold space for you to open up and be yourself. It can become somewhat of a new age D&M, or even a confessional!
Chatting with Bonnie on our shoot while I was building my new portfolio was no exception.
Bonnie and I first worked together a few years ago when I photographed a new line of hand painted kaftans by Peter Henry Tamasese. Bonnie was one of the models for the shoot and from the moment I met her, I felt a sincere sense of calm as she was radiating this shining light of positivity through her electric blue eyes and her beaming smile.
Although this was a seemingly straightforward shoot as the designer and stylist were both friends of mine, at the time, it was my most involved photoshoot to date.
I was coordinating and liaising with the designer Peter Henry Tamasese, the stylist Tekendra of Maden Style, one makeup artist (Vumeca) for two models, the management of the private property we were shooting on as well as using studio lighting on location with changing weather/sunlight conditions - so I was on my toes!
As the photographer, you are kind of like the director of the production, with many moving parts to get into place to create the images, but as a leader, you do need to lean on your team at times as well. Both models were amazing to work with, but Bonnie really had this way of keeping everyone calm, positive and having fun while also remaining professional and producing banging images.
A year or so later, I was starting production on my first collection of creative portraits, ‘Robbing The Muse’ and I reached out to Bonnie to be a part of it. She politely declined, stating she was going through a stressful time, her body was changing and she was having a break from modelling. I was saddened to hear this but did not know her well enough to pry further at the time.
When I started to build my new portfolio of legacy portraits, I reached out to Wink models to see if any models would be interested in working with me. I told them I would like to create a portfolio of diverse ages, body types and ethnicities. Bonnie was now signed with them and was the first to reply! I was over the moon.
When she arrived for her photoshoot it was like meeting an old friend. I really love working with her.
We spoke a little bit about the tough times she went through and how she came to be classed as a “curve model”.
This is some of what she had to say;
“I came from working in the entertainment industry as a dancer and transitioned into commercial modelling. To fit through the very narrow window of the Brisbane industry as a size 6 model I would have dysfunctional eating patterns and constantly be comparing myself to every other model online. I put my worth in my waist measurements and it was destructive. Over the years I transitioned into the curve realm as I went through some stressful times in my life. I was invited to do a shoot for Cork and Chroma - a paint and sip event in Brisbane and it was this relaxed and fun environment that reminded me what I loved about modelling and celebrating individuality. From there I made a conscious effort to be kinder to myself and my perceived ‘flaws’ like freckles, frizzy hair and pale skin. I used these to my advantage and soon these became my trademarks of my look and what made me hireable.”
I really love how outspoken she is on her social media, promoting body positivity, sharing real images of herself that are often unretouched or makeup free, confidently showing love for herself. This is really inspiring to me, so I can only imagine how inspiring it must be to other young women.
She went on to say;
“I use my social media platforms to be real and share my experiences of my journey. My entire career - starting at 10 years old - was oriented around looks and talent. I’ve had to re-evaluate my values and ideas of beauty time and time again. I have some really bad days but I also have some really amazing ones and I think using social media to show that is so important. We all get ingrown hairs, breakouts, bad hair days and days where you don’t want to get out of bed, and normalising that is a stepping stone to breaking down the taboo around mental health and wellbeing.”
At the time, I was really excited to be finally taking my photography and turning into a full time business. But if I am keeping it real (the way Bonnie always does), I was doing so after I was made redundant from my job as a flight attendant of 17 years. So I had a lot of mixed emotions.
Bonnie picked up on this and we talked about mental health.
“In addition to my modelling career I also study psychology and social work, and more than ever this has shown me that things can be really crappy. Everybody is going through something, no matter how big or how small - but how other people react can have such a huge butterfly effect on their life and how they value themselves. We each hold ourselves and others to expectations that are sometimes unrealistic and questioning these can free you from disappointment.
Especially in the time we’re in now, putting yourself first is vital. Have a bath, watch a movie or sleep in a bit longer and don’t compare yourself to the highlight reel that is social media. I stockpile images from shoots and post them when i'm sitting at home, makeup free, probably eating a leftover dinner. Instagram is not always reality, and remembering this takes a pressure off your shoulders to live up to such an unrealistic standard.”
I confided there are still some days where I myself have a pinch of self loathing. Being regularly told I am too skinny sometimes gets me down, because even though I’ve managed to put on 7kgs since maintaining a regular fitness regime since ending my flying career, I still get the comments like “You have lost so much weight, you’re so skinny, are you ok?”
She had this to say;
“Your body has kept you alive. Your legs move you through life, your eyes take in the beauty that’s all around. How can we hate such a vessel? Wrinkles show life and scars show resilience, so why are we ashamed of living? Cellulite, body hair, split ends and double chins make us unique. We are quite literally 1 in billions. Why would we want to change that?”
After receiving her gorgeous images, Bonnie wrote this beautiful testimony for me.
“Matthew’s new sessions offer a space to create artwork that celebrates our bodies and life experiences. A photograph that is for you, a beautiful person, to see yourself as an individual who is worthy of celebration and self-love. To dress up and express your true self without fear of judgement and receive a quality product that is magazine worthy. We are all front cover worthy, so let's get living.”
Folio Box
Bonnie has her collection of 10 archival prints, presented in a premium Folio Box, covered in Japanese style Asahi linen.
If you or anyone you know is struggling at the moment, please know there is always someone to talk to and resources are available to you.
In Australia, you can call Lifeline anytime on 131114.
Or you can check out The Black Dog Institute for further resources and help also.
Always remember - you are loved.
MTT XO
