Gabriel Exposes More Than Just His Skin With A Portrait Session For The Garlands Project

Last year, as I was going through a major life change (transitioning from 17+ years as a flight attendant and 5+ as a part time photographer, to suddenly figuring out how to take my photography full time and run it as a proper business), I needed to find something to keep me staying focussed, positive and moving forward. 

That’s when I signed up for Brisbane Tritons social team. The Tritons are an LGBTQIA+ inclusive water polo team and it was all laughs and smiles on their social media but let me tell you, turning up to meet a bunch of new people for the first time while you’re wearing only your budgy smugglers was a very daunting moment. 

But I pushed through those nerves and showed up. That’s where I first met Gabriel. He had also brought himself out of his comfort zone to try out and was feeling all the same feelings I was - scared, excited, challenged, brave, vulnerable, unfit.. like seriously unfit. 

Gabriel admits that he struggled through most sessions over the summer season, but he never gave up and kept coming back until each week became a little easier. That perseverance he possessed was really inspiring to me and actually helped me more than he will ever know. 

Over the summer, we became not only teammates, but friends as well. I found that perseverance is a common theme in his life as he is always pushing himself to keep moving forward in spite of how feels he is viewed in society as a gay Asian male. 

When I asked him to be part of my new contemporary portrait series - The Garlands Project, an anthology of local LGBTQIA+ faces and their tales to tell - he was so excited, so we started designing his shoot right away.

I asked him how he would like to be photographed. He replied;

“I want to expose myself.”

I shouted at him, “YES! This could be your Samantha Jones photoshoot moment!” 

After we went down a rabbit hole of giggling and reliving classic Samantha Jones moments, we reined it in and he continued;

“I want to show the colour of my skin. All the scars, stretch marks, pigmentation from acne I had previously been so self-conscious about, I didn’t want to hide them any longer.”

So I was ready for a big nude photoshoot. But he wanted to start by wrapping himself in a blanket that was handmade by his mother. I found this really poetic to be honest. We are all naked and vulnerable in this world and want to be wrapped up in our mother’s love and protection. 

“I am sheltered by a blanket sewn with love by my mother; in some sections for hours by hand. Metaphorically speaking, no matter how grown I am, I know I can always seek shelter in her when I am weak and frail.”

During our photoshoot, Gabriel thanked me for giving him a chance to be visible. I was really taken back by this statement. He said;

“I was a shy child. I often took the back seat, not to speak unless spoken to, avoided confrontation, and apologised for everything. I was afraid of making mistakes, of disappointing others and of being humiliated. As I got older, I started seeing the world pass by from the backseat. I felt lost.”

He continued;

“In 2015, a close friend died in a plane crash. This loss made me realise that life is extremely short. I didn’t want to live a lie. I want to live to my full potential. That same day, I came out to my parents. I then started volunteering for various LGBTQI+ community groups like my extraordinary friend did. I started participating in events and meeting more amazing people. Through this process, I was slowly finding myself. 

I started showing up. I started believing in myself and being myself. I started speaking up and having those uncomfortable conversations. Yes I made mistakes along the way, but never any regrets. Over time, I grew proud; proud of my homosexuality, my Chinese Malaysian heritage, my skin, my scars, my whole self.

Yes it can be difficult to be proud of all these things, especially in a world that is constantly perpetuating the perception that I am less beautiful because of the colour of my skin, or that I am not your equal because I am queer. But I kept showing the world who I am. I took every opportunity I humanly could to be seen, and treated everyone with respect along the way. There will be people who will want to bring you down. Forget them. You have done your job by showing them your integrity. That is the best you can do. You can’t change them. You just hope one day they will change themselves.”

What advice can you give young queer kids, particularly queer Asian kids, who might be reading this?

“Showing up is the hardest part. If you don’t show up, it is like you never existed. It is as if you were not part of history. Imagine that. 

So my message to anyone out there is to show up. Show up for your community, for the world to see, and for the world to meet you. Show up for yourself.”

Here I am wearing the gold chain which was gifted to me at birth by my parents. Traditionally worn during Chinese New Year signifying good luck and wealth. But I don’t need any fancy clothes to show the world who I am. And I look forward to meeting my future self who I am sure will have grown more than I have today.”

Thank you, Gabriel, for being a part of this project and for trusting me to share your story. 

The Garlands Project is a follow up to my previous projects in 2018 and 2019, ‘Robbing The Muse’ and ‘Stygian Stones’ respectively, both exhibitions at The Brisbane Powerhouse during MELT: Festival of Queer Arts and Culture.

I am creating a safe space for the local LGBTQIA+ community to express themselves and showcase their unique beauty with a collection of contemporary portraits.

The portraits and stories will become an anthology, or year book with the faces and tales of the diverse Brisbane community.

Would you like to tell your story with a collection of portraits? You are all invited and welcome, so please fill out the contact form or email me directly to register your interest.

XO