How Sliz Found Strength In Her Individuality After Coming Out
I first met Sliz (aka Lizzie) when we started our new job together, working for @Queensland in the social media and marketing team, curating hot content and creating engaging editorial calendars for the coolest events across the state.
She was always bursting with energy and we spent the most part of each day snort-laughing until we cried or having dance breaks to Lady Gaga’s Perfect Illusion. They were the best times!
We were so lucky we got to do a lot of fun stuff and go to some really incredible parts of Queensland for our first times - whale watching in Hervey Bay, road trips to Charleville in Outback Queensland, sailing around The Whitsundays...
But one of my highlights was actually getting to go and photograph some up and coming legends of the Australian music scene (George Maple, Vera Blue, Ngaiire, Client Liaison..) at the Maroochy Music and Visual Arts Festival on the Sunshine Coast in 2016 and Sliz came with me.
It was our first trip that was just the two of us and we drove up to Maroochydore for the weekend. On our drive, we were talking about lots of things, bouncing from one subject to another as we usually did.
At one point, we were talking about dating boys, when Sliz casually told me she had been dating a girl, which was turning out to be a drama in an hysterical way. In my head, I was like “oh she’s gay, cool” and I wasn’t really shocked or suprised and didn’t think it was a big deal at all and the conversation kept flowing without skipping a beat.
That’s because prior to that, I hadn’t really given her sexuality much thought to be honest, as we were work friends up until this point. So now, as we were starting to get to know each other outside of the office and without any other colleagues around, hearing that she dated girls was just part of getting to know her.
I did know that her voice had changed, though, as she must have been nervous, so I had made the choice to be chill about it to let her know it’s all good and she was in a safe space to be herself and talk freely without judgment.
In hindsight, I wish I had celebrated this moment more than I did - pulled off the highway for a Perfect Illusion dance break? Shouted out the window YASSS with a few toot toot beep beeps? Or at least not been so casual about it.
I think I took for granted that I was in my mid 30s and had been out for over 15 years at this point, but Sliz, being in her early 20s, might have spent a lot of time pondering on how to come out to me. It was a big deal to her.
Cut to us five years later and I can see that she has blossomed into a confident and charismatic young woman. She is still that same good hearted girl - fun loving, carefree and always hilarious, but now that she is freely living as her authentic self, her energy shines so bright that she literally lights up any room she enters (sorry for the cliche but if you’ve been in a room with her, you’d agree).
When we did this portrait session for The Garlands Project I am working on, I wanted to make some images for Sliz that would be worthy of a Rolling Stone magazine spread. Just because she is not the lead singer of a band does not mean she isn’t a rockstar!
While shooting, we spoke about how she wasn’t always so extroverted, but came alive with the power of coming out.
”I have always been quietly confident, but for a long time I struggled with self expression, and sharing who I am and what I stand for with the world. I chose the comfort of the mainstream, the known, and often the shadows. When you grow up as someone who is shy, reserved, and unsure of their place in the world... conformity and anonymity are a lifeboat.
Looking back now, at 28 years old, it’s hard to pinpoint when things really started to change. There was no defining moment. However, coming out to myself and those around me, was empowering and one of the first times I truly started to accept myself.
The people who know me now are often surprised to hear of this painfully shy person who chose to hide for so long. When I reflect on how much has changed over the past decade, I’m humbled by the vulnerability, kindness and queerness of the people who surround me and showed me what it is to be proud. MTT you are one of those people, and the rest of you know who you are.”
With the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras just wrapping for another year and Brisbane’s Big Gay Day at The Wickham and Pride season approaching, we talked about what pride means to her.
“To me, pride is not always loud. It can be fierce and unapologetic, strong and vibrant; but it can also be found in moments of reflection, be inspired by the experiences of others, and ignited by the belief that vulnerability, individuality and self-expression make the world a better place. To me, pride is about owning your space, voice and values... and creating space for others to do the same. To those who helped me, thank you, and I promise to do the same for as many people as I can.”
What does pride mean to you? Let me know in the comments below.
The Garlands Project is a follow up to my previous projects in 2018 and 2019, ‘Robbing The Muse’ and ‘Stygian Stones’ respectively, both exhibitions at The Brisbane Powerhouse during MELT: Festival of Queer Arts and Culture.
I am creating a safe space for the local LGBTQIA+ community to express themselves and showcase their unique beauty with a collection of contemporary portraits.
The portraits and stories will become an anthology, or year book with the faces and tales of the diverse Brisbane community.
Would you like to tell your story with a collection of portraits? You are all invited and welcome, so please fill out the contact form or email me directly to register your interest.
XO
